January, 2010 – Here we go again!
I’m a 41-year-old female who feels more like a 61-year-old. I’ve never been a totally healthy eater, but my eating habits have totally gone out of control. In fact, I would define myself as a compulsive over-eater. Exercise? Forget it. I’ve never completely been thin or a hard body but as I get older, I’m definitely getting “worse.”
I’ve eaten fast food three times this past week. I ate french fries for breakfast this morning. Food has become my life. I’ve developed a full fledged food addiction. I don’t remember the last time I ate a fruit or vegetable. I was once reasonably in shape. Now I get winded walking up a ramp. I can feel the extra weight on me, gravity pulling it all downward. My lower back aches. I can’t bend down and get back up without leaning on my thighs. I’m tired all the time. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. Large t-shirts and oversized clothes can only hide so much. I look older than my years and boy do I feel it.
I’m using this online forum because I feel that I need to publicly track what I’m doing or else I won’t do it. Does that make any sense? None of my close friends would understand a lot of this. They say things like, ”Just eat less and exercise.” Thanks. Like I hadn’t thought of that (mild sarcasm there).
What do I want fitness-wise? I want to be around 155-160 at least. I don’t want to be THIN. I want to be FIT. I want to replace fat with muscle. I want to eat like a normal person. I want to wake up feeling good – mentally and physically. I want to have energy. I want to hold my head up high and be proud of what I see when I look in the mirror. I want to stop “hiding” from men and relationships. I want my confidence to return — better than ever.
I’m my own worst enemy and the biggest saboteur to everything I try to accomplish. That, more than anything else, is my biggest obstacle to overcome.
Through all of my blogging on the other site I’ve learned that what I write can be therapeutic for me while being helpful and even entertaining to others. Thanks for all who’ve stopped by to read and/or comment!
Just came across your site and wanted to wish you luck with your goals—you can do this! I deal with compulsive eating issues too, so I can very much relate on that front. As my friend Shanny says, though, “Persistence not perfection”: We just have to keep getting back on the horse.
–GoGo
comradegogo.com
well written intro. thanks for sharing. i have struggled with weight too. at my highest i was around 210lbs. my lowest, which i hit in may 08, was around 149lbs. now, i am around 163lbs. i feel terrible about this recent weight gain. it was stress coupled with a few bbqs and parties and the fact that i visited family too. bad habits are hard to reverse and easy to res-establish. i am going to just have to be really sensible here.
Congratulations on taking the time to improve yourself. I think it is great that you want to be fit. So many people today focus on being thin but don’t always end up being fit. Some end up with malnutrition because they don’t do it the right way, not to mention the being “thin” wears off. There is a website that offers great information at http://www.gofigure8.com.
I wish you the best. You can do it!
Hi “heavy to hottie”. Just wanted to cheer you on. I started my move to be more fit last fall but as of Jan 1 I am trying to add some variety and go from like 2 or 3 tims a week to every day exercise.
The most powerful thing for me is putting – and feel free to laugh — a shiny, juvenile sticker on the calendar day if I have worked out. “Work out” means walk, dance, or exercise to a DVD. I’m aiming for general fitness and mood improvement. Another thing working for me – ya gotta forgive yourself if you fall and pick yourself right back up again and keep on going. Never cut yourself down.
Wishes for success!
Carol
walkdreamwrite.wordpress.com
hey deservebetter
I love the design of your site, very nice. Keep up the great work!
Congrats on not giving up. I wish you lots of luck with your weight loss goals.
I think it is great that you are doing this for yourself and your health. You will certainly be an inspiration to a lot of women who don’t know how or fear in taking that first step. I would like to list your blog in my blogroll if that’s okay with you. I also invite you to visit mine. You may find some helpful information throughout your quest.